I am a qualified Executive Coach based in Esher, Surrey, KT10. I offer sessions in person and online.
Executive coaching is designed to help you explore work and performance related issues and find new ways of moving forward. Sometimes the coaching is driven by the employer, when particular issues need resolving so that an individual and the team around them can thrive and progress at work. Sometimes the coaching is driven by an individual who is struggling with their relationships or performance at work.
My neuro-psychotherapeutic training will underpin our work, so that you can work towards lasting change. Read on to find out more ...
If you want to create lasting changes in the way you think, feel, and behave, that needs to come from within you. Much of your personal and professional development to date might have come from skills development, and much of that learning will have been via a professional or an expert teaching you what to do. That is change from the 'outside in'. And so, when you feel out of your depth, your first thought is probably "what should I do?"
When you keep trying to do something differently using the skills and techniques you have learnt, or by continuously adding new skills to your kitbag, but feel that you are never quite achieving the results you want, then perhaps skills are not the answer.
What is happening within you?
Learning and changing from the 'inside out' is a very different kind of self-development and this is where my unique blend of skills can help you. When we work together we will be exploring your emotional and behavioural responses to situations at work, looking closely at what is specifically difficult for you. And if you want, we can also examine where in your life this might be rooted.
This kind of coaching is a very personal type of learning and there is no one size fits all. You won't be given answers. Instead, this work involves exploring your way of being in the world and finding out what it is about your way of feeling, thinking and behaving that can cause you difficulty at work.
What is happening within your environment?
Importantly, we also examine your environment. Sometimes, we are in the wrong environment for us. Some environments are toxic, discriminatory or hostile, or they encourage/dictate working practices that are unhealthy. You might be coping with an environment that is subtly or overtly un-inclusive, prejudiced, homophobic, ageist, sexist, or racist. You may not have even noticed it, because it is hidden within a polite culture, and/or is ignored. Some working environments promote unhealthy working practices under the guise of 'client first', 'striving for excellence', or 'only hiring the best and most capable'. Burnout can become an accepted part of a culture of 'achievement and excellence'. Sometimes the environment we are in just doesn't suit us, our skills, or our working style.
Coaching can help to identify when something intolerable is being tolerated and our conversations can highlight what change might be needed and what is within your control.
On the other hand, your environment may be setting off certain emotional responses that have been embedded in your mind and body for a long time. Your environment may be triggering something in you. This could be the case if you have experienced chronic social traumas throughout your life, like constant rejection, ostracization or -isms. Or if you grew up in a harsh environment or were bullied at school.
Working with deeply embedded negative self-beliefs
Sometimes, the experiences we have had in life have affected us deeply. You may be very aware of the root of your problems, or you might have no awareness of where it all comes from and struggle to understand yourself.
We know from neuro-scientific research that sometimes our body/brain does not process difficult experiences fully. If you have experienced something that hasn't fully resolved, you might find yourself living in a state of too much emotion (hyper-arousal) or too little emotion (hypo-arousal) even though the difficult stuff happened a long time ago. These emotional states can be accompanied by high levels of negative self-beliefs. Or you might be swinging between states of high and low emotion on a regular basis. Living this way is exhausting. These states can also manifest as anxiety or depression.
If this sounds like you, you might find yourself feeling angry, fearful or anxious in situations when others don't seem to. Or you might find yourself feeling very low and detached from life, feeling that it's hard to motivate or feel good about yourself at all. Consequently, you might also be trying to numb yourself through drinking, drug taking or other behaviour that disconnects you from your overwhelming emotions and other people.
EMDR, which I am also trained in, can help you with these deeply embedded states, so that you feel more positive and peaceful. EMDR is a scientifically proven way of working with the brain and body to resolve old, embedded feelings, emotions, experiences and memories.
Through skilful and intuitive coaching, and by taking an integrated neuro-psychotherapeutic approach to our work, I will help you to explore and understand your issues from your unique vantage point so that you can find not only ways forward, but also a better and more peaceful sense of yourself. Because I am both a coach and a psychotherapist, I have in-depth knowledge of how people change and grow. Change is possible!
I tailor my coaching to each individual, taking your unique situation and life history into consideration. I am more than happy for you to send me an email so that we can discuss your coaching needs. Below are some more standardised coaching packages on offer and each one involves 8 sessions of coaching:
Is there a standard for leadership within your organisation?
How else is executive presence defined in your place of work?
What might it mean to not 'conform'?
How can you develop and demonstrate a more authentic leadership style and lead from a position of strength?
Together we explore and find answers to these questions, so that you can take steps to define your authentic leadership presence.
Self-belief = confidence in our own abilities or a feeling of self-respect
We often imagine that everyone else has more self-belief than we do, and we often attribute our own lack of self-belief to some sort of personal failing.
Self-belief is developed over time, within the context of our relationships and via life experiences. We don't develop it in isolation. It's not something we just have or don't have. Some experiences can knock our self-belief. We might feel better able to tap into feelings of self-belief around some people and in some situations more than others.
With the context of a coaching relationship, it's possible to explore the relationships, contexts and experiences that impact your self-belief, as well as find ways to enhance it.
We work in a 'more, more, more' society, and many of us have developed unhealthy coping mechanisms to manage relentless stress in under-resourced, high pressure industries or sectors. Many of us weren't shown how to cope with stressful experiences when we were young, either.
Resilience is our ability to cope with demands and setbacks without feeling the need to rely on coping mechanisms that might do us more harm than good.
We can learn how to be more resilient and it starts with self-awareness. We need to examine our environment, the demands being placed on us, how we typically tend to cope, and which resources are available to us going forwards.
People come to me for help a wide range of work-related problems. Here are a few of the more common issues that my particular style of coaching can help with:
Coping with conflict
Stepping up to more senior roles
Finding an authentic leadership presence
Feeling grounded in oneself
Finding a voice at work
Coping with burnout & strategies for avoiding it
Developing emotional intelligence
Positive Relationship building
Packages & Fees
I offer a free 20-minute zoom call to discuss your needs.
50 minutes, £150 per session.
8 sessions, £1200, payable in full when booking is made.
Payment by bank transfer.
I am located in KT10, Esher, Surrey. My practice is easily accessible from Cobham, Oxshott, Claygate, Hinchley Wood and Molesey. My home practice is well-served by local transport and free parking is always easily available.
Monday to Friday: 9:00am – 5:00pm